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Suicidal thoughts...


BroncLander

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The best case scenario with grief is that it transforms from pain of loss to gratitude for the time that was granted and the memories bring joy whenever they come up.
And I swear that when we lose someone, they're not actually gone, just in a different form, still around, still proud to see your accomplishments and they might even try to get your attention at times. So I definitely feel like it's good to verbally say hi if you feel them.
 


Eddo Rogue

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It doesn't go away, but does become more bearable/manageable over time. A long time.
 

CrabGuy

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It doesn't go away, but does become more bearable/manageable over time. A long time.
I hope you are right. My wife of 51 years passed away just 2 weeks ago after a noble 3 year battle with cancer. I know I never will, or want to, forget our life together but also realize I have to move on. I'll deal with my grief and live out the remainder of my life in a fashion that she would be proud of. Luckily I have a wonderful supporting family to help me along. I truly feel for mtnrgr and just can't imagine how difficult it is for him dealing with his grief while suffering from severe depression.
 

BroncLander

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I hope you are right. My wife of 51 years passed away just 2 weeks ago after a noble 3 year battle with cancer. I know I never will, or want to, forget our life together but also realize I have to move on. I'll deal with my grief and live out the remainder of my life in a fashion that she would be proud of. Luckily I have a wonderful supporting family to help me along. I truly feel for mtnrgr and just can't imagine how difficult it is for him dealing with his grief while suffering from severe depression.
Hang in there man. I've never lost a partner, but my Grandma just went also and it was a long go with dementia. We were all pretty torn up yet relieved that the suffering wasn't happening anymore. Certainly not the same as a lifelong partner though. I find myself having random thoughts pop up of things she used to say about seeing the world through rose colored lenses. And oddly enough now I see my grandma in my kids with quirky things they do that reminds me of her.
One of the best parts about living longer than those you love is knowing they don't have to grieve for you
 

Blmpkn

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I hope you are right. My wife of 51 years passed away just 2 weeks ago after a noble 3 year battle with cancer. I know I never will, or want to, forget our life together but also realize I have to move on. I'll deal with my grief and live out the remainder of my life in a fashion that she would be proud of. Luckily I have a wonderful supporting family to help me along. I truly feel for mtnrgr and just can't imagine how difficult it is for him dealing with his grief while suffering from severe depression.
Sorry to learn about your loss.
 

Chapap

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Hang in there man. I've never lost a partner, but my Grandma just went also and it was a long go with dementia. We were all pretty torn up yet relieved that the suffering wasn't happening anymore. Certainly not the same as a lifelong partner though. I find myself having random thoughts pop up of things she used to say about seeing the world through rose colored lenses. And oddly enough now I see my grandma in my kids with quirky things they do that reminds me of her.
One of the best parts about living longer than those you love is knowing they don't have to grieve for you
All of the close deaths Ive experienced have been expected due to age and sometimes was the result of a choice of the individual. Those were tough. I can’t imagine a non-expected death. I think that’s something that has to be experienced to fully understand.
 

mtnrgr

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Would like to say to all of trs...thanks for looking out for my well being.
 

Eddo Rogue

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Would like to say to all of trs...thanks for looking out for my well being.
In a world where most don't give crap, we do for you. We truly give a shit, that you stay alive and get better before you die, way later, of natural causes and purpose served...so please try not to die yet. I like your knowledgeable posts, we need ya.
 

Eddo Rogue

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My credo
Crossed threads are tight threads.
I hope you are right. My wife of 51 years passed away just 2 weeks ago after a noble 3 year battle with cancer. I know I never will, or want to, forget our life together but also realize I have to move on. I'll deal with my grief and live out the remainder of my life in a fashion that she would be proud of. Luckily I have a wonderful supporting family to help me along. I truly feel for mtnrgr and just can't imagine how difficult it is for him dealing with his grief while suffering from severe depression.
I hope so too. I am in the dead ex club as well. lost my girl suddenly during the holidays last year. this year is gonna be weird.

We were a fairly recent thing, but still....family gave me her dog...and they snore the same. I signed for her recent purchased car (whilst waiting for insurance check of crashed car), its mine now I guess.. for the occasional sunday drive. her scent and essence engulfs me every time I get in it. Last drive was to have it dealer serviced. I dont think they did anything. Time to learn how to work on German cars...I wanna keep this thing for a bit.

Not my first loss, nor last, nor biggest...but they all suck. It dont get easier. Time does help. The heart can be quite resilient. Theres always permanent damage...What doesnt kill you makes you stronger, or leaves you weak as a kitten...sometimes its an evolved version of both with some work, and a lot of time.
 

mtnrgr

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Lord God is my guardian
In a world where most don't give crap, we do for you. We truly give a shit, that you stay alive and get better before you die, way later, of natural causes and purpose served...so please try not to die yet. I like your knowledgeable posts, we need ya.
I would like to live a little longer, yet with my health failing..really hard to tell. Somedays I do OK, other days I'm unable to do anything. When it's my time to go, I will gladly go.
 

Ranger Murphy

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I would like to live a little longer, yet with my health failing..really hard to tell. Somedays I do OK, other days I'm unable to do anything. When it's my time to go, I will gladly go.
Don't mean to be rude to you regarding your health and late spouse. Seems your looking for pity and excuses for a reason to exit from life. Please ðont discuss this any further. Live your life or however you decide.
 
Last edited:

sgtsandman

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Don’t reply to Ranger Murphy. He’s been banned and won’t see it.

I didn’t do the banning but the line through the name means they have been banned.
 

rumblecloud

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In what world are we not supposed to share our feelings?

@mtnrgr
You keep on posting exactly what you're thinking and going through.
Believe it or not, it helps us too.🙏
 

pjtoledo

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line? I don't see one.
 

sgtsandman

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