Thanks everyone for your replies. Here's the latest:
Yesterday I gave my brother a wrench and sent him under the truck. I showed him the parts of the drive train, how they worked, and explained why running 4x4 on dry pavement is a bad idea. And why running at highway speeds in low range is a bad idea. Next I made him change the tx case juice and engine oil (almost due anyway). No chunky bits or other easily discernible problems. Also made him check the diff levels, everything in order.
Then we found some gravel roads and let him feel the differences between 2hi, 4hi, and 4lo. Also showed him how to switch into and out of lo range.
They had borrowed my truck to pull a small tractor/mower out of the mud, clicked the selector over to 4lo, and somehow during maneuvering ended up in neutral. Once the tractor was free they clicked back to 2hi but didn't complete the neutral/brake ritual, leaving the truck in 4lo. They just ignored the '4wd low' light on dash (and the scream of indignation from the poor little 3.0 revving like mad) and drove home.
The head of one exhaust manifold stud had popped off; causing my exhaust leak. I'm fairly certain the cause was the rev happy drive home. But it probably would have happened sooner or later anyway, so I really can't be too upset. Took the manifold off and extracted the broken stud. Ready to go back together.
So it looks like my little ranger survived its ordeal more or less intact. I'll post up here if any drive train parts fail in the near future.
Thanks again!